Always

Simple plain beauty,
in the sun she hides no shade.

Bright endless glorious light,
in the wind she bends no shame.

Hopeful believing loving ,
in my darkness  she brings me bright.

If  I misplace myself she reminds me
who I am and where Ive been.

If I am  lost she shows me
how  to go and brings me home.

If  I am  weak
she looks at me and makes me strong.

If I forget  the love
she opens her arms and holds me long.

Simple Plain Beautiful
Bright Endless Glorious Light

Always

Where have you gone ?

Where have you gone?
Whispers say "There by the trees near the brook."
I look but you are not there;
Only a shaded memory carved inside the bark
of the great great oak.
Where have you gone?
A whisper says "There near the light on the corner by the store."
I go,only to hear a memory of an old,old song-
that use to fill the air and warm our souls.
Where have you gone?
A whisper says "Just smell the morning air."
Your perfume dances in my memories of long agos and past affairs.
Where have you gone?
A whispers says" Look deep inside the box on the shelf by the book"
I put my hand inside and only find
remnants of a day or two and a long lost look.
Where have you gone ?
I scour every corner of my heart sadly to discover
only seconds of your life and moments of your love.
Where have you gone ?
You seem so faraway and still so close to my saddened heart.

A picture,a song,a memory can only go so far
to make me smile of days gone by
when you ran and walked along my side
making whispers wonders and yesterday ponders
for long ago and far aways of days to come and days to go
and now all that's left is this melancholy soliloquy
of seconds lost and seconds found.
Where have you gone?

(to my nephew Lee on his graduation 5/2011
I am very proud of you. Always thinking of you.)

MCV

Hoy Pienso de Ti

Es la madrugada, lo se por que siento el silencio .
No hay mucho sentido que yo me levante y sacude al Sol,
El  a solas se levantar y  abrirá las ventanas.

Mi imaginación  se mueve despacio. Comienza con
el recuerdo pequeño  de un momento fugaz  y
rápidamente me lleva al demonio del  rencor.

Tantos días que yo caminado con mis
ojos de siego y mi corazón de muerto.
Tantos días que yo buscado la razón. 
Tantos días Tantos días.

Es la madrugada lo se por que conozco este color.
No es negro ni azul   ni gris.  
Es el color que  se queda  cuando   muere la luna-
se apagan las estrellas y solo alumbra la soledad.

Es el color de la inquietud 
y de la esperanza y de las aventuras sin comenzar .   
Es el color de mi alma , Es el color de mi corazón.
Es el color Es el color.

Es la madrugado lo se por que no estas.
Es la madrugado por que manana  no vendrás.
Es la madrugada  del comienzo y del fin.

Es la  madrugada es la madrugada


MCV

No More War

Why can t you hear me?
Why can t you see me?
Why  cant you leave me be?
Inside my soul  screams. 
Inside my tears bleed.
Inside my heart calls. 
 Was it the color of my skin?
 Was it the color of my soul?
 Was it the color of my lord? 
Inside was a man!
Inside was a friend!
Inside was - no war.
 Was it something I said?
 Was it something you thought?
 Was it something you heard?
Inside my skin crawls! 
Inside my fears feed!
Inside I don't want war!
Why must you fear me?
Why cant you see me ?
Why wont you hear me call?
Inside whispers scream.
Inside worries bleed.
Inside my sun goes.

I don t  know  why outside
But inside we all don t want war.

MCV

The Last Lettter from Emily Sparks to Reuben Pantiher

Dear Boy,
I write this letter my love in hopes that you will hold it forever dear.

My days are counted and as if I could not be  cursed further, they grow longer. Morning starts in dark and night never seems to end. My handkerchief fills of red  from my constant cough . You would not recognize me; I have rapidly  lost so much  weight. Consumption they say.

I am lonely. Lonelier then I have ever been. As you know I have always been alone. Alone with my school plans and my room, alone with my thoughts and  the dreams  I  stored  for another day. I never regretted this, it was the life I chose. No man would ever had  let me live my dream with the conviction and passion of which I give to my students. Jealousy or marital demands would have halted my path.  It may  have even stopped me from loving you.

 Spring is near. The trees have started to bud, early  flowers are in bloom  a faint consolation to this , winter's    hard and endless terror. The roof  on the school house  needs changing ,  the books are worn and the desks are tired and scarred. Still everyday  the paint free  walls grow bright and happy, at least for a few hours, as my  children fill the air with their  open minds and  endless thoughts.The  air overloads with their music of laughter and shuffling restlessness . Even with all the activity and  restless energy that ignites the air I find myself with an empty thought, a cold dark space that has not been mine  in a long time. I find my self forever waiting, waiting, for my boy to come through  the door.  I wait to see his dark skin  and black black hair, curled by the wind.His joyous smile and bubbling words filling my heart. I wait to see those intense dark eyes and feel the fervor of his soul.

I know  you are far, and that you left with no thought of me ; I surely was not a consideration when
your life was detoured by  the  Milliner's daughter's  implications. You know by now that you  wronged that girl , she  was not your conquest alone. I warned you, I warned you often, the devil grows  strong  in  you . You never could control that urge. I pleaded with you to be good ,to not give in , to show your love in labor for your neighbor, to  subside  that energy, to hold your peace. I would have given you more than words  if I could have . No matter now, you are far. I have written you often, Mr  Petit has been  kind enough to find these letters to you  through  his  friends in France. His friendship and discretion have been valued, for the town still whispers. 

Reuben listen to me my son. I am afraid I will not be able to write to you  any more, Not for not wanting
and not that I won't pray for you every night. I must stop these  letters  because my selfish fear of death  has
revealed the meaning of my love.  I regret not one thing, except not letting you kiss me again.
Your tenderness and your beautiful heart , I hope I did not destroy. You surprised me that day in the school room.I yelled at you as a teacher as an adult. but   as a women I cherished  the sweetness of your lips and the vulnerability of which you shared. I swear to you, that my love  was that of a mother but  now in my older  days  I come to the truth  that it was  of  woman.

I wish you were near or that you would have written back, I would have gone to find you. Together we could have done the goodness that God wants. You have the strength and charisma to make people listen and help save them; I would have taught  you the path and shared my love. Age at this point no more matters , it is what is in my heart.

Do you remember reading the Bible by  candle light and making baskets for the woodsman's widows. When you were right and enlighten and loved you were a good boy.  I am scared to leave Reuben , scared that you will keep your ways. Yes I have heard stories of your debauchery and womanizing . This is wrong my son. The devil will take your soul Please don't follow through this path, I need you to promise , I need to know that what I have sacrificed on earth will be paid to me in heaven. That my loneliness will be rewarded with your eternal love. Please  let me rest with the thought that my prays will guide you to me. Please let me lay  in peace knowing that the words that have filled my letters were not a spinsters false hope. Please let me know that your kiss was not one of many, that your soft voice was not a disguise, that all the goodness you showed me was not the dddevi''s  map.

Follow the righteous path; be good so that from heaven I will know that our feelings, while not timely, were  righteous. Let me know by your actions, from this day forward, that you are looking for God and that
in God you will come to me. Tell me please that I will not go to hell because I have failed you and failed my God for loving you. Please Reuben I beg of you if I was your light  then let me be your light now.If your feeling were true find your way  in the goodness of right.

I go now with the thought ,that God has given you to me. To cherish and love and guide here and in heaven.
I wait for you my love.

Emily Sparks

Tomorrow

And darkness besets me now that you are gone. And the  stars  will sleep until I see you again and soon the moon will follow and so sets the sun.In every moment, growing darkness and hopeless love.Will tomorrow ever come?


not complete
MCV

many

Many is the gift I have when plenty is too few.

MCV

Screaming Inside

In the morning light I open my eyes and see  your  face fade.         I quickly close them and wonder was there a goodbye? I  lose myself  in a sad lost   darkness pouring  rapidly  through my heart. I grab my lips  to keep your last touch soft against my skin but that too  like the wind , gone. I hold my self so tight lying that I would  keep it all inside but my feelings drown my lone lost  soul ,and all of you escapes me through my every pore, screaming  running  to your own disillusioned disheveled road.

MCV

She Waits No More (The Seasons)

Rainy Tuesday ,she waits by the door.
Springtime flowers have blossomed and started to fall.
The skies weary cry recalls;
Rainy Tuesdays forever more.

Sun sets,  night comes , summer is old.
 
"My love" she prays, " hold me tight"
"My love" she says, "play your melody  make the moonlight right"
"My love"she whispers,"shelter me from this that makes evening dark"
"My Love" she cries waiting,
knowing that forever
Rainy Tuesdays will be forever more.

Everything has blossomed, everything has flourished...
everything has ruined .
 
She sits self embraced, watching raindrops fall,
waiting for the early bird to sing the morning's call..
Every rainy Tuesday she waits,
Every rainy Tuesday she knows,
Every rainy Tuesday reminds her,
she need not wait
for Rainy Tuesdays ever more.


MCV

Finding the Right Words

 If words could say the way I feel each time I think  of you;
 when days get lost in endless mazes of dark forever's desperate waiting's lonely solitude. If words could tell you all  you mean to me and everything I dream; I would ask these words to pour onto your world to crush  your doubts and lift your dreams. But words don't seem to reach the deepness of my thoughts and  words don't want to find the meaning of my world;
these words just choke my breathe and make me
die with each and every word that hides inside.

Just dreaming of love

I was  just dreaming
dreaming of you  and your splendid  rose  lips
how  I always lose  myself
with your inspired kiss.
I was  just dreaming
dreaming of  that secret place
where you took my loveless breath
and let me die again .
I was just dreaming
 dreaming of   how you and I
can be everything and nothing
with just the whisper of the wind
I was just dreaming
dreaming of all  the eternal  nights to come
with nothing left but dreams of dreams of  love.

Winter

Its a crisp fall day ,
cool textures of life fill the air.
No one too hurried just walking enjoying the changing air.
I saw your name come across my sight,
it has been so long
in such a short  time.
winter

For the first time I saw you cry

Today I held your hand you squeezed it so tight.
A collage of lost thoughts filled your eyes as
you stared  strongly  beyond the walls
Your posture melted slowly  into a  deep lost sadness
and though your head never dropped  your eyes betrayed your heart.
Your vulnerability screamed from 
those deep dark loving  eyes  that I have  always  cherish
and in which I  have always found eternal strength,
eternal   happiness ,eternal life, eternal joy.
But  tonight, for the first time ,
under a ceiling made for such things
in front of  a  faceless  crowd and angel's eyes  I saw you cry.
I am sad for the reason that we all meet in this quiet place
but I am sadden most  that you have shed a tear.

In the moment

Words and thoughts what a mess..
When all that should be said has already been heard.
 I don't think love can be said many more ways, and
"I m sorry "seems futile in the turmoil of the day.
 Silence is the true poem .
Listen and you will know everything that  has been said.
Stay quiet and you will feel every thing you need to know.
The stars, the sun ,the moon, a flower,the ocean ,a blue sky,
the laughter of a child, the melody  the universe sings;
all is a poem and none needs to be said or written just heard.

Listen and enjoy before the moment is gone.