Today I Think Of You

It is the  dawn
I know because I can feel its' silence
It is senseless  to get out of bed 

and wake  the Sun
soon enough she will rise alone  pull up the shade and drown me in light

My imagination slowly staggers
It begins with the memory of a fleeting moment then quickly leads me to the demons of regret

So many days  I have walked with my eyes in mourning 

and my heart full of death

So many days I have  searched for you

 and for so many  reasons

it is the dawn

It is the dawn 

I know because I know this color

It is not black or gray or blue 
It is the color that lingers as the stars close their eyes
and the only thing that lights the sky is my solitude

It  is the color of restlessness of hope

of adventures that had no beginning

dreams that had no end

It is the color of my soul
It is the color of my heart
It is  the color  of  the dawn

It is the dawn

I know because you are not here

It is the dawn because tomorrow you will not come

It is the dawn of the beginning
It is the dawn of the end
It is the dawn
It is the dawn

Fall

I woke this morning to find myself thirty pounds heavier, thirty years older,        with a distant  and fading past, 

 a preposterous present                   

and cursed with an infidel future.

Fall had met the Long Island sky. 

Trees rage the heavens with the beauty of their bursting foliage.
Every color of the autumn palette,

golden yellow and forever greens, twinkle like diamonds  dancing in the cold sunlight.

Heather browns and purple reds, fire and light scream that they were here before the inevitable forever winter's night.

The wind whispers it's autumn song  gently kissing the north shores glistening tides. On the water a mirrored reflection of white cotton puffed clouds paint our vision north,south,east and west. 

Beauty disguises the bitter glory, the ending truth, simultaneously reminding  us once we lived in eternal youth.